This Christmas

Recently I've been thinking about what the Christmas season was like for me last year. And although I still enjoyed the music, decorations, and family celebrations of the holiday season, it just wasn't "the most wonderful time of the year." In fact, I was pretty miserable. I remember specifically getting Christmas card after Christmas card filled with adorable children, and just being sad. And angry and depressed.

We had just sent our paperwork to Korea, which was a huge exciting step. However, we were told to expect a wait of 6-8 months for a referral, plus 3-4 months to travel. So we were thinking that it was going to be close to a year before we brought our son home. And that just felt like a long, long time away. It ended up being shorter, but of course we didn't know that at the time.

This year is, thankfully, a different story. Putting our Christmas tree up was an emotional experience and I found myself choked up quite a few times. Four years we have waited to have a child during this season, to experience Christmas as a family of three. This year, we are showing our son the lights and Christmas tree. This year, we are helping him hang ornaments on our tree. This year, we are buying presents for our child. This year, we are singing Christmas carols to him before bed. This year, we are thanking God for the precious, wonderful gift of His Son...and ours.