Anonymous Donor Strikes Again!

We received yet another envelope with a letter containing encouragement for our process and $100! We continue to be in awe over people's generosity and support. As a girl who loves a good mystery (Nancy Drew is my favorite!) we have been trying to figure out who the anonymous donor is, if it's even the same person. We've come up with a few ideas, but nothing concrete. What we do know is how grateful we are and how God is definitely answering our prayers for provision! So, anonymous donor, thank you for your deep generosity and for blessing us this holiday season!

Sung Tan Chuk Ha!

Or in English, Merry Christmas! Did you know that South Korea is the only country in East Asia to recognize Christmas as a national holiday? Christmas in South Korea is celebrated much as it is here. Koreans exchange gifts (usually one meaningful gift instead of multiple presents), decorate trees, send Christmas cards, and hold special services and paegants. Santa Haraboji (Santa Grandfather) is also a part of Christmas in South Korea. Christmas in South Korea is less commercialized than in the US and more geared toward youth.

Cheonggyecheon River in Seoul, South Korea

As we celebrate Christmas this year, our hearts and thoughts will be in Korea where our unborn baby continues to grow and our child's birthparents most likely struggle with a very difficult decision. Please pray for peace and comfort for them.

Home Study to Korea!

As it turns out, our paperwork didn't get sent to Korea last Friday, but will be sent tomorrow. We will then be put on the waiting list for a referral! This is so exciting and a huge milestone for us! Hopefully our year time frame will be accurate (sooner would be great, too!). Thank you to everyone--all of your support and encouragement have helped us reach this point in our adoption journey!

See Our News Article!

We are happy to tell you that we made the news! A writer that works for our local newspaper heard about our walk-a-thon after the fact, and decided to interview us about our adoption in general. Our story is featured in today's paper (with a picture on the front page, I might add), and it's a great article! Click here to see the article.

One Step Closer!

We are so excited to tell you this latest piece of news on our adoption journey--we were approved by immigration! This was the step we were unsure of as far as the time frame, and it happened faster than we were expecting. What a great early Christmas present! On Monday we will be sending our letter of immigration approval, more paperwork, and a photo album and letter to the birth parents to our agency in New York. If everything is complete, they will send our paperwork to Korea on Friday!! We will then officially be waiting for a referral. Since referrals are coming in about 8 months and travel is 4 months later, we are looking at about a year from now. Which means that next year around this time we may be planning a trip to pick up our baby!

Our photo album and letter to the birth parents

Even though a year seems like a long time, we have many plans for our wait. We'd like to...

*Learn Korean (at least enough to feel comfortable traveling there)

*Build our collection of children's books about adoption and Korea

*Read as much as we can about attachment in adoption, raising adopted children, and the Korean culture

*Find a circle of adoptive parents in the area to get together with

*Knit a baby blanket or make a quilt (maybe both!)

*Prepare for what we will send as a care package to our child once we get our referral

*Apply for as many grants as we can

*Save lots of money! :)

*Enjoy our alone time as a couple.

As you can see, we'll keep ourselves pretty busy! Please keep the birthparents and our child in your thoughts and prayers.

DCFS Approval

We got the news yesterday that our home study was approved by DCFS, which happened faster than we expected! This makes us one step closer to sending our paperwork to Korea. Our home study is now on its way to USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services). They need to look over our information and approve it as well. Our social worker guesses this will take around 3-6 weeks, but we've heard much longer from other adoptive families--in some cases as long as 4-6 months. Since DCFS was quicker than we thought, we're taking that as a good sign that USCIS approval will be on the shorter side. We'll keep you posted!

Anonymous Donation

About two weeks ago, we received a very mysterious envelope with our names typed on the outside. On the inside was $100 and a typed note saying that many people were praying for us on our adoption journey. Of course there was no signature, nothing to indicate who had been so generous. We were overwhelmed and so grateful for this addition to our adoption fund. We are continually blessed in many areas; not just with monetary donations, but with words and prayers of encouragement, supportive questions about our process, and excitement for our journey. So thank you to everyone! And, if our anonymous donator is reading this, please know that we are so grateful to you!

Successful Walk-a-Thon!

Our Seoul Steps Fundraiser was a huge success! We had about 35 walkers, the weather was absolutely beautiful, everyone had a great time, and....we raised $4,900! What a great blessing this is to us. Our fundraising total is nearly $9,000, which is pretty close to 1/3 of our adoption cost. We never thought we'd raise this much money, and we are so grateful to all of our friends and family for helping! We couldn't have done this walk without the support of our local businesses, walkers, and donators.

Part 2 of Seoul Steps took place the next day, when Travis, his brother, and best friend walked an additional twenty miles! Our other best friend also joined them for the first ten miles. It took them about eight hours, and when they were finally done we were so proud of them! Travis said what kept him going at the end was thinking about bringing our child home. Each step was that much easier with that goal in mind. This is true for our adoption process in general. Even though it's hard and sometimes painful, if we keep our thoughts focused on our child, each step we take in our journey will be even easier to complete. The guys have recovered for the most part (although you'll still hear them talk about sore legs and shins), but I don't think they are any too eager to volunteer for such a thing again!


Here are some pictures from our walk:

We're Done with Our Home Study!

We are officially done with all of our requirements for the home study! What a great feeling. Our social worker came over last week to make sure our house is suitable for a child and meets the safety requirements. Needless to say, we (okay I) were just a little nervous. We spent quite a few days beforehand cleaning, washing windows, organizing closets, and scrubbing the bathrooms and kitchen. Wouldn't you know, she didn't open one closet door or look in one bathroom! We also spent time making sure the outside of our house looked just as presentable (and it did, mostly thanks to our "mum fairy"). I felt the need to pull out every single weed from our flower gardens, because I reasoned that she might wonder what kind of mother I'd be if I couldn't even take care of our yard! (I know it's silly, but these were the kind of thoughts running through my head.) As for Travis, he claimed he wasn't worried at all, but just happened to mow the lawn twice in two days. And then there was our dog, Nyla. She's very sweet, but also very hyper. She jumps on anyone who comes over, slobbers on their clothes, and is a big pest in general. We tried to bribe her beforehand, "Nyla, we'll take you for as many walks and bike rides as you want, just be good! Please!" We filled her kong with peanut butter and a treat, made sure we had rawhides ready, and she was all set. Despite a few initial jumps, licks, and joyful barks, she was a good girl. Thank goodness! We couldn't imagine the humiliation of not passing our home study because of our dog! All in all, most of our worries were for nothing.

So, now that we are done with our requirements, our social worker will write up our home study, submit it to her supervisor for approval, send it to DCFS for approval, then send it to USCIS for approval. When that's all said and done, we'll send it to our New York agency along with a few other papers, and they will submit it to South Korea. So we still have awhile before we are on the waiting list for the referral, but we are getting there! We absolutely cannot wait to see a picture of our child and hold him or her for the first time. Waiting is not my forte, but I am trying very hard to be patient and take things one step at a time. God is doing a pretty good job of teaching me patience through this journey!

Walk-a-Thon Info!

Our next fundraiser is a five mile walk-a-thon we've named "Seoul Steps" (Seoul is the capital of South Korea). This is scheduled for October 11th at 9:00AM. Travis and I are walking the five miles that day, and Travis is walking an additional twenty miles the following day! He really wants to show his determination and willingness to make a sacrifice for our child. If you'd be interested in helping out, whether it be walking or donating, please let us know. Anyone who raises more than $25 will get a free T-shirt, and anyone who raises more than $50 will be entered into a drawing to win prizes from local businesses. You can walk with us even if you don't want to raise pledges--we'll have a great time! We really appreciate any support or prayers you're willing to give. Please write us at faith0409@aol.com with any questions.

Garage Sale, Take Two

We decided to hold another garage sale to sell what we had left (which was a lot!!). We ended up making an additional $805, making the grand total $3,730! We are so grateful for how much this will help with the costs, and even more grateful for all of our helpers and donators. We had a few additional people donate this time. They are:

The Sartain Family
The Degarmo Family
The Baltes Family
Thanks so much, everyone!

The Price of a Baby

Since one of our goals in writing this blog is adoption education, we'd like to explain why adoption costs so much. We have had many questions about this area, and even some comments such as "adoption is like buying a baby." Clearly the price of adoption is an area in which education is needed!

-Our local agency charges $3,500 for the home study. This includes four meetings with the social worker, educational workshops (on-line and live), and three post-placement visits. In addition, our agency is a not-for-profit organization and provides counseling, outreach, and educational services to birth and adoptive parents.

-Our placement agency in New York charges $4,300 for registration, networking, and paperwork processing.

-USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) requires a total of $910 for the application and fingerprinting.

-The Korea program fee, which is the largest sum of money, is $16,000. This includes...

*Counseling and shelter for birth mothers
*Medical and legal services for birth parents
*Nursery and foster care for the children
*Post-adoption services
*Maintenance of adoption facilities in Korea

-The final amount of money is for one of the best parts of our experience--the travel to Korea! This will be around $5,000 for a seven to ten day visit in Seoul, Korea.

Add this all together, and you get about $30,000. Korea has one of the most ethical and stable programs, and we are confident that our money will be used legitimately . So, what is the price of a baby? Well, the cost of a Korean adoption is about $30,000. The cost of our baby? Priceless.

Garage Sale

Our garage sale fundraiser was far more successful than we ever dreamed! We raised a total of $2,925!! We are still in awe over this amount and are extremely grateful to all those who made this possible. We were given so many donations, and would like to thank the following families who contributed:

Maureen Vari

The Martin Family
The Yanong Family
Peggy Grommon
The Baumann Family
The Muno Family

The Untiedt Family

The Ziegler Family

The Erikson Family

The Williams Family

The Bowen Family

The Prieto Family

The Davenport Family

The Bachert Family
The Connolly Family
The Bobb Family
The Nichols Family
The Eriksen Family
The Cutshaw Family
The Weiffenbach Family
The Savidas Family
The Danstrom Family
The Wilson Family
The Hawkins Family
Diane Dueball
The Budill Family

The Sall Family
The Other Kinley Family (Sorry for forgetting your name!)

Special thanks to New Song Church for allowing us to use their trailer and for the donated baked goods and bottled water that we sold. We are grateful to have such a wonderful church family! Thank you!

All About Us

Travis and I have been married four years. During my senior year of college, a mutual friend that I've known since grade school introduced us. We clicked from the first time we met, and the best thing I remember is that when he came to visit me at school, every time I opened the door and was enveloped in his arms, I felt like I was coming home. I still feel that way today.

I have a degree in Elementary Education, although I'm not currently teaching. When I did, though, I taught fifth and sixth grade at a Lutheran school. I loved teaching, and adored my students. I still think about many of them daily and am so grateful for the wonderful memories I have of them. For a number of reasons I took a break from teaching...I'd like to go back again, but we'll see what happens. I currently work part-time at the public library in the Interlibrary Loan office. I love working in a library with access to so many books and great people, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Travis has been in the field of Heating and Air-Conditioning for about thirteen years, and two years ago, decided to start his own company, Pillar Heating and Air. The name comes from the Bible, I Timothy 3:15. "...You will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth." He wanted a name that stands for what he believes in, which is being honest and true to his customers. He also felt this was a great way to witness to people who ask where the name comes from, and has told this story to many people. Although owning a business has been hard at times, we have been so blessed.

We live in a smaller suburb of Chicago, in a duplex that has a beautiful view of undeveloped prairie from our back deck. We have a Golden Retriever named Nyla, who currently holds the status of "our baby." We enjoy going for bike rides (with Nyla, of course), playing SkipBo and Phase 10 (only if I win--if not, it's bad for everyone), spending time with friends, and sharing our lives together. Travis also likes to play video games, go fishing, and spend time with his twin brother, Trevor. I am interested in gardening, scrapbooking, horses, vegetarianism (I've been one for a year and a half now--still waiting for my husband!), and my favorite hobby in the world, reading.

Our faith in the Lord has brought us together and helped us through many tough times. Travis and I are members of a Lutheran mission church that was started in 2000. Travis is very involved and participates in set-up, the sound board, offering and communion, and break-down. He is also on the Management Team. I occasionally sing with the Praise Team or play the piano for the early service. There are a lot of wonderful people there, and we love our pastor and his wife. They have been an inspiration to us and everyone at our church.

Our Story...Trying to Start a Family

We always knew that we wanted to have children, even though we could never agree on how many. Being a mother is something that I have dreamt about since I was a little girl. I have always felt that being a mom is my life’s calling, and couldn’t understand why we didn’t have an easy time conceiving. We started trying to conceive in September of 2005, about one year after we were married. From the very first failed attempt, we were heartbroken every time we saw a negative pregnancy test or the beginnings of a new cycle. We wanted children so badly that it was painful when our desire went unfulfilled. We longed to see two pink lines on a home pregnancy test, longed to make a joyful announcement to our friends and family, longed to prepare our home for a child, and longed for a baby to love and cherish. We tried to conceive on our own for about a year, and came to the realization that perhaps we needed help to make this dream a reality.

We began seeing a reproductive endocrinologist that was recommended to us by many people. We liked and respected him immediately, and felt optimistic after hearing his assurances that we could conceive. Through all of our diagnostic testing, the only problem he found was low hormone levels. This was easily overcome with medication, but after three failed cycles with him, we began to wonder if that was the only obstacle.

After suffering through a rare ovarian pregnancy in July of 2007, our treatment became more intense and our emotions more pronounced. We were devastated by our pregnancy loss and unsure of what the future held for us. It was at this point that we began researching and praying about adoption. We decided that we would continue with fertility treatments until we reached the point where we felt that we had done everything we felt comfortable with. We wanted to try at least a few more cycles with our doctor. I had also been pursuing the natural route to fertility—yoga, meditation, acupuncture and herbs, and organic foods in the hopes that this would boost our chances. We did one more cycle, and then decided to “go for the gold.” In the fertility world, this means in-vitro fertilization. We were surprised by our change of heart—we had decided from the beginning that we would not embark on this invasive, expensive, emotionally trying procedure. As we were learning, though, infertility treatments were very addicting. When one cycle failed, there was the hope of a new one that would work. There was always the same thought in the back of our heads, “What if next time is it?” So in January of 2008 we endured (well, I endured) twice daily shots, two hospital procedures, three trips a week to the doctor for blood tests and ultrasounds, and worst, the emotional torture. “Will this work? What if it works too well and we have twins, even triplets? What if it doesn’t work at all?” After the longest two weeks of our lives, we were ecstatic by the news from our doctor’s office. “It looks like you’re pregnant!” We were in disbelief, and it took two more positive blood tests for the reality to sink in. I really was pregnant! It was further confirmed by an ultrasound that showed one gestational sac, right where it should be. We cried with relief, and prayed even more fervently that God would protect this baby for nine months and deliver him or her safely into our arms. It wasn’t to be, however, and God took this baby home to heaven with Him at nine weeks. We mourned and grieved for this baby, but knew that no matter how sad we were, God had a different plan for us. There was no apparent reason for this miscarriage, and we quickly debated the idea of doing another cycle of IVF. In the end, we decided that putting the energy and finances into more fertility treatment was not the route we wanted to take. We felt that this second pregnancy loss was our “sign from God,” a sign that a baby from somewhere across the globe needed us more. So on May 8, with excitement and joy, we met with our social worker for the first time to start our adoption from Korea.

At this point, I felt as if we were entering a new time in our lives. A time of hope, of freedom from doctors, medications, and deep emotional and physical stress. A time of peace in knowing that God did have a plan for us. A time of happiness, and real joy that we had previously only had glimpses of. We felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders. And it had! Even though our fertility would always be a part of us and our babies would never be forgotten, we were ready to move forward. We were ready to bring our child home.

The Adoption Process

In May we began what is a long and complicated process to bring our child home. We are working with an agency around Chicago that will complete our home study. That agency partners with another agency in New York, which then partners with the agency in Korea. The amount of paperwork is incredible, and goes something like this…

-Apply with New York agency by filling out nine pages of very detailed information about ourselves, our families, our medical history, our finances, reasons for adoptions, letters from physicians, narratives about our life, and what kind of child we will accept.

-Apply with Chicago agency by attending an informational meeting, sending in a balance sheet of our finances including our debt to income ratio, and a personal information paper.

-Apply for necessary DCFS license in Illinois, which includes another fifteen page application, being fingerprinted, and attending a CPR class.

-Apply with USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) for the approval to adopt internationally.

-Continue with our home study, which is the term for a three to five month process in which we are educated about adoption and during which our social worker will determine if we meet the requirements for adoptive parenting. The home study itself includes:

-A home visit from our social worker
-Application to USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services)
-Application for passport
-Cross-cultural questionnaire
-Two live adoption classes
-Six hours of online adoption classes
-Writing an autobiography
-Individual interviews with our social worker
-Health report from physician
-Photocopies of birth and marriage certificates
-Tax forms from the past three years
-Verification of current income
-Letter from insurance carrier
-Diagram of home including fire and emergency evacuation plan

-When our home study is finished, we await approval from USCIS. Once that happens, our home study will be sent to Korea! From that point, it will take around nine to ten months for a referral. A referral is what happens when a couple is matched with an orphan that becomes legally available for adoption. We are not able to choose the baby’s gender, but 85% of the referrals are boys, so that’s what we are expecting. If we accept the referral, we will travel about three to four months later to Seoul, South Korea, bringing our baby home!

One of the biggest obstacles in this whole process (besides the never-ending paperwork, of course) is the financial aspect. When we began the process we knew that we didn’t have the amount of money needed sitting in the bank. However, we felt that if God was calling us to adopt, He would bless us and provide for us as needed. The total cost of a Korean adoption is about $30,000. This includes the home study, fees for the New York and Korean agency, and travel. This is an overwhelming amount of money and we are planning a couple of fundraisers to try and help with these costs.

We are so glad that you are sharing our journey with us. It is sure to be exciting, and full of surprises and blessings. We would very much appreciate your prayers and support for a smooth process, and more importantly, for our child, his or her birth mother, and the foster parents. We will keep you updated as we travel on the road of international adoption!

Why South Korea? And What is Kimchi?

After much discussion, we decided that domestic adoption was not a good choice for us. We didn’t feel willing to take the chance of a birth mother changing her mind at the last moment, and there are more couples waiting to adopt in the US than there are babies. Our hearts were in international adoption, and we began to do research and explore countries. Korea seemed to be the best fit for us. The children are around a year old when they come home, the babies are cared for in loving foster homes, the medical records are very thorough and reliable, and we have been interested in the Asian cultures for some time. After much prayer, we felt a definite leading in this direction. “The Kinleys and Kimchi” represents the blending of our family with the Korean culture. Kimchi is one of Korea’s most well-known traditional dishes. Made with fermented vegetables, usually cabbage, with lots of hot pepper powder, all we can say about how this tastes is...wow! Travis and I are planning to learn everything we can about Korea to share and educate our child about his or her heritage. The Korean culture will be honored and celebrated in our house. Although our child will grow up in America, he or she is first, and always will be, Korean.

Infertility a Blessing?

"Some people are blessed with the gift of infertility." The first time I read this quote, I thought, "What is this person saying? Does she have any idea what we have been through? There's no way our trials have been anything near a blessing or a gift!" But as my husband Travis and I started to think and talk about it, it actually became pretty clear. Our infertility truly is a blessing in disguise. Through all of the months on the roller coaster of fertility treatments, our two pregnancy losses, and our deep longing and ache for a child, we have learned so much. We have learned that we are not in control, no matter how much we want to be or how much we think we can convince God that our plans are better than His. We have learned that life isn't fair, and it never will be. We live in a fallen world, with too much sin, too much evil, for life to ever make sense or be "fair." My husband and I have learned that our love is so strong it can stand up to one of the hardest challenges a marriage can face. We have learned that we are much stronger people than we give ourselves credit for. I remember thinking so many times that I wouldn't be able to handle a particular situation if it happened to us. I truly thought I wouldn't be able to survive. Well, guess what? Those things happened and we've made it through. We have survived, and are all the better for it. With all these important lessons and irreplaceable experiences, the greatest way that our infertility is a blessing is that it has brought us to the point we are at today, which is in the process of adopting a child from South Korea. We truly feel that God has a child picked out for us, and even though it's not what we expected, it's perfectly right. One of my favorite Bible verses comes to mind here:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him,

who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28

Through our journey, we have countlessly asked God why. Why is this happening to us? Why aren't we being blessed with a child? Why can't we seem to get pregnant, when it comes so easily to so many? Now we feel as if this question is, at least in part, being answered. Because God has a different plan for us. Because our child, the one that God ordained before time, is without a forever family and waiting for us to bring him or her home. We are so excited to be on this journey to parenthood. When we first met, I told Travis that I wanted to adopt internationally after having biological children, and he thought that sounded like a great idea. Adoption is a different way for us to build our family, and we feel that this is our calling from God. We went through a lot to get to this point, but now that we are here, we wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.