What a Day...

Today was probably one of the most emotional days of my life. We were both pretty nervous this morning before we went to get Joel--it's a little scary to be handed an eight month old that you know next to nothing about and then fly across the world with him, not knowing what to expect. Okay, it's a lot scary.

Before we went to get Joel, we visited the Baby Reception Center where all babies that are placed for adoption go before they are put in a foster home. We weren't able to hold any of the babies, but we took pictures for Joel and gave them a bag of baby supplies. We then headed up to the office where we would meet the foster mother and Joel. When they came into the room, I was filled with joy to see Joel. He was so handsome in a black checkered outfit with a little tie. Joel had to be seen by a doctor to make sure that he was healthy and okay to travel, so he and the foster mother took him away for that. They were gone quite awhile, and I couldn't help but worrying. I was afraid that something was wrong with him, and then I started to worry about what they were doing to my baby boy back there. Finally our social worker came back and said that the doctor had to examine many babies, so it was taking a longer time. When they came back, we had a few papers to sign and we were given many things--his visa and passport (which is so adorable), diapers, formula, clothes, a CD of Korean children's music, a South Korea flag for him, bottles, and a beautiful mother of pearl box from the director of our agency. At that point, the foster mother said that Joel hadn't had his morning nap yet, and he was tired. Sure enough, as soon as Travis took him, he let out a big yawn, closed his eyes, and fell asleep! (Wow--will every nap be that easy??) The director told us it was time to leave, and we handed Joel back to his foster mother to say goodbye. This is when the tears started, and they fell even harder when his foster mother didn't want to let go of him. She began to cry hard, and we had to just kind of take Joel from her and get in the elevator. It was so absolutely heartbreaking. I will never forget her face as the elevator door closed. So, so, sad. I was crying so hard, and continued to cry for the next hour as Joel slept. I cried for his foster family that obviously loved him so much, I cried for his birth mother who will never see her son grow up. I cried for Joel who first lost his birth mother, now his foster family, and tomorrow his country, his people, his culture. Sure, we will do our best to keep the Korean culture in his life, but we will never be Korean. He will not get to grow up and experience life in Seoul. My heart breaks for him and there is nothing we can do to fix or change any of it. One of the most important things we can do is take him home and love him, and we have no problem with that. :)

I finally stopped crying and a few minutes later Joel woke up. He kind of looked around, stared at us, and then stared at us some more. He didn't cry, though, and we began to play with him. Soon he was smiling and laughing and babbling. I really cannot believe what a good natured baby he is. For the next hour, he looked at the photo album we sent him, chewed on his teether, scooted around on his belly, sat on our laps, and smiled and laughed some more.

We decided to take a walk to a park that another adoptive family we met today told us about. We loaded Joel up in the carrier, which was so sweet. I had envisioned carrying him in that for months. He looked so cute in there with his camoflage hat (Nyla told us it was okay for him to wear it now).

The couple we met said the park was about a ten minute walk away. It was a bit longer than that, and it was hot. And the whole time I was worrying that Joel was going to get heatstroke and I kept feeling his skin but I couldn't remember if the warning sign for heatstroke was dry hot skin or cold clammy skin...oh, my, I knew I was going to be a worrywart! The park was beautiful, but we didn't stay too long. I was pretty tired from carrying him and hot, too. We came back to the Guest House and attempted to wash him off with the hand held shower head (there's no bathtub). He did NOT like that and cried for the next ten minutes!

Right now, Joel is asleep on the floor after finishing half his bottle and we just ordered a pizza. The three of us are a family now, and although today was so hard, we are so blessed to be his parents. He is a wonderful boy, and we have many things to look forward to. I loved Joel before we even knew of him, loved him even more after the referral, but I did not know I would love him this much after knowing him only a day. I can't imagine loving any child more, and I am so grateful that God has blessed us with this child and entrusted us to be his parents.

We leave tomorrow morning for home and will arrive at 10:30 am Chicago time, 12:30 am Seoul time. Please pray for a safe flight and a continued good natured baby for 13 hours!