A Family of Four

Six months ago today, we became a family of four. On that day, we were handed a scared, quiet, and very sad little boy. As I reflected on that time today, I was filled with many emotions and the realization of how far Eli Taeho has come since then.

On that day in Seoul, our hearts were full of happiness for this little boy to join our family. At the same time, we were filled with sadness for his foster family and for Taeho, who would soon lose everything that he knew. We knew that it would be very hard day for everyone.

We met at the agency after meeting Joel's foster family and Taeho's foster aunt and cousin were there, too, along with his foster brother. It was obvious how much they cared for this little boy, too. We played together for a few minutes and his foster mother gave us more gifts--a toy bus, lots of clothes, and a pair of shoes from his foster aunt that didn't quite fit yet. Our social worker also gave us diapers, formula, a CD of Korean children's songs, a small Korean flag, and an engraved jewelry box.

Then it was time for us to take Taeho. We all walked out into the hallway, and the good-byes began. I was wiping away tears and so was Taeho's foster mother. We got to the elevator and she grabbed my hand very hard and began to sob. It was heart-breaking. Our social worker had to pull Taeho away from her because he was clinging to her, and she handed him to us and we got in the elevator. Taeho was screaming and reaching his arms out to the elevator doors. Our hearts were breaking, and it felt so wrong to be taking this boy from the people he loved and who loved him. By the grace of God, I was able to hold it together and not break down myself. I didn't want to upset Taeho anymore than he already was. I tried to stay calm and kept telling him "it's okay" in Korean. He continued to cry as we walked back to our room. We tried to soothe him and carry him on our backs, in a way that was familiar to him.

Daddy finally got him to take a nap. When he woke, he was very quiet but calm. We fed him some curry chicken from his foster mother and he and Joel played for a bit. 

After a couple of hours, Taeho started to cry and pointed at his shoes, then at the door. Our hearts broke for this little boy who just wanted to go back to the only home he'd known.

Over the last six months, Eli has blossomed into a happy, outgoing, chatty, sweet, loving, and fun little boy. We are loving his personality and the fact that he feels comfortable enough with us to show us who he really is. It was difficult to feel an attachment for him at first, but we have fallen in love with him and cannot imagine our family without him.

Joel has really grown into his role as a big brother, too. The majority of the jealousy he experienced has gone, and he shares a lot more with him and is always looking out for him and trying to teach him new things. They both love each other so much, and are constantly playing together, hiding from each other, laughing, and getting into trouble.It brings us so much joy to watch them together! We really weren't sure how they would get along, especially due to their rocky start as brothers. Eli looks out for Joel, too. We were playing with some friends, and one of the boys was getting angry at Joel for playing with one of his toys. He started to yell at Joel and Eli immediately hit the boy. It was so sweet that he was trying to protect his big brother. (We're still working on the hitting. :)  

I don't want to go into details on this blog, but I will say that I had a very difficult time adjusting to this change in our family. I finally feel like I'm coming out of a sleep deprived and hopeless fog, and starting to enjoy life and the boys again. I've found myself developing more and more of a motherly love toward Eli, and I'm able to see what a cute and awesome little boy he is. It's a wonderful place to be, especially compared to where we were a few months ago. I truly didn't know if our life would ever feel right or normal again. We are praising God for getting us through those rough times and giving us a feeling of hope again.

Our boys mean the world to us, and although these months have been difficult, we know that the challenges are making us stronger and are cementing our bond as a family. We are looking forward to life with these two, and all the fun and joy they bring.